Drug Bust
by whats-wrong-eren
Summary: 13 year old Edward Elric is going on a mission with Roy Mustang and the rest of his team. The worst part in Ed's opinion is he has to pretend to be the Colonel's son. He only hopes he will survive this. (Parental!Roy/Ed)
1. New Mission

**A/N: This idea is from Fallen Crest's story 'Truth Revealed'! I highly recommend reading it! I have been given permission to use the idea so no worries! Please tell me how it is!**

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"I'm not going in there." Edward Elric stated seriously, crossing his arms. He closed his eyes and looked away from the wooden doors in front of him with a frown. There was a metallic sigh from behind him and a rough nudge sending him reeling forward. Ed stumbled into the doors causing them to fly open. The young alchemist stumbled into the office and fell on his face with a yelp. There was a round of laughter from the four men at their designated desks, while the single female remained stoic as always and continued doing her work without sparing a glance to the furious thirteen year old.

"AL!" Ed howled angrily. He leapt to his feet and pointed a threatening finger at the empty suit of armor. "How dare you betray me like that!"

"But, Brother! You never would have come in here if I didn't! You were standing there complaining for ten minutes!" Alphonse defended. The armor's statement caused another round of laughter to resound throughout the room. Ed glared at the four men over his shoulder.

"Shuddup!" He snarled, teeth bared. Kain Fuery and Vato Falman's chuckling ceased while Heymans Breda and Jean Havoc continued roaring with laughter.

"Hey Chief! Nice of you to stop by!" Havoc snorted between giggles. Ed gritted his teeth and opened his mouth to retort when there was an unmistakable click of a gun behind him. Ed, Havoc and Breda froze and clamped their mouths shut.

"Get to work, boys." Riza Hawkeye growled dangerously from behind Ed. The blond cautiously turned his head to Riza standing slightly to the side of him with her gun trained on the two frightened soldiers.

"Yes ma'am!" Havoc and Breda chorused nervously. The ducked their heads and returned to their paperwork. Riza nodded approvingly and holstered her gun. She turned to Ed, causing him to tense nervously.

"Colonel Mustang would like to see you." She stated, although Ed knew it was an order. Rank didn't matter to Ed, Riza was too scary to ignore. Although he wouldn't disobey Riza, he scowled and glared at the inner office doors where he knew the bastard Colonel was waiting.

"Dammit, I hate that bastard." Ed muttered as he shuffled to the Colonel's office. Al's heavy footfalls followed him into the inner office where Roy Mustang was waiting at his desk twirling a pen between his fingers. Ed scoffed.

"You're being productive." He drawled sarcastically before flopping onto the couch across from the Colonel. Mustang smirked slightly. Ed scowled at the man and his stupid smirk. That smirk always meant Mustang was gonna say something mocking or stupid. Usually both.

"I'm more productive than you, Fullmetal, seeing as you haven't had any leads in three months." Mustang said, eyes closed with the smirk still plastered across his face. Ed growled and looked away.

"Why am I here again?" The small blond asked suddenly, clearly wanting to get out of the office as soon as humanly possible. Mustang opened his eyes and the dreaded smirk fell away. He looked pointedly at Alphonse, who in turn nodded in understanding. He was not in the military so he understood that every once in a while he couldn't hear whatever it was his brother was going to do. The armor turned and exited the room. The door clicked shut behind him.

"We have a mission. It's a-" Mustang started, He was immediately interrupted by Ed.

"Woah, woah, woah!" He cut in, sitting up straighter and glaring at the Flame Alchemist. "We? As in you and me? As in, I have to go on a mission with _you?_"

"And the rest of the team, yes." Mustang nodded. Ed screamed in frustration and pulled at his hair, falling back on the couch. Mustang sighed. "It gets worse."

"Noooo." Ed groaned in anguish, tilting his head back. He sighed in resignation and motioned for the Colonel to get it over with. "What is it?"

"It's an undercover mission and you have to pretend to be my son." Mustang responded, bracing himself for the assault his ears were about to receive.

"_WHAT!?_" Ed shrieked, launching off the couch and slamming his hands on Mustang's desk. There was a crash from outside the doors as someone dropped something in surprise.

"I don't like it any more than you do." Mustang sighed, rubbing his head to try and ease the headache that was coming on. He found he did that often when Fullmetal was around. "But that's still not the worst part."

Ed opened his mouth to scream again but Mustang cut him off before so much as a squeak came out of his mouth.

"It will last a week at best and we have to stay in the same house." Mustang said. Ed could have sworn his soul exited his body. He collapsed on the ground and moaned pathetically. Mustang nodded in agreement even though the wallowing alchemist couldn't see it.

"What about the rest of the team? And Al?" Ed asked, propping himself up on his elbows. Mustang shook his head with a sigh.

"Falman will be there as a butler but everyone else will be backup. Except for Alphonse. A giant suit of armor would be too suspicious in this mission. If even one person is frightened of Al, the whole mission could go down the drain." Mustang explained. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. "Questions?"

"Uh, yeah." Ed snarled. "What the hell is this mission?"

"It's a drug bust." Mustang said. When Ed opened his mouth to say he could easily just run in and destroy everything (more paperwork for Mustang), The Flame Alchemist held up a hand to stop him. "And no, you cannot just run in and do what you normally do for drug busts. This one is a huge organization that is very professional so your… tactics wouldn't work"

"Ugh, this sucks!" Ed exclaimed as he sat up. He slouched over miserably and motioned for his superior to continue his explanation.

"So, pretty much, I'm going undercover as a rich widower who turns to drugs after his wife dies and you are the rebellious son who also does drugs." Mustang explained swiftly. Ed gave another groan.

"Whose house are we going to if we're rich?" The teen asked grouchily.

"An informant of mine has a mansion." Mustang waved his hand slightly as he answered as if having a random mansion at disposal was normal.

"Of course." Ed sighed, flopping onto his back once again. The Flame Alchemist shook his head at his subordinate's childishness and returned to scribbling signatures on different documents that were strewn about his desk. "So what about Hawkeye and the others?"

"They'll be backup. Fuery will be communications. We leave in two days. Get Al out to Resembool or something so he's not just waiting around." Mustang responded shortly. He glanced up at his subordinate lying on the couch. "Now get out."

"Grouchy." Ed muttered as he shuffled out of the office. He closed the door and looked up at his brother. He put on a huge grin and threw his hands up before shouting, "You're goin' on a trip Al!"


	2. Wake-up Call

**A/N: Thank you for the support for this story so far! I have high expectations for this story and I really like it so far, so I'll keep the chapters coming as fast as I can!**

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The two days went by too fast is Ed's opinion. He had brought Al to Resembool and stayed the day to visit and fix up his automail that he, in his mind, had been taking care of perfectly. Winry thought otherwise if the wrench indentations on his head were anything to go by. All too soon Ed was back on the train to East City and sleeping in his military dorm. His wake up call was not very gentle.

"Chief! Hey, Chief! Get up!" Havoc shouted as he barged into the room. Ed snapped into a sitting position and looked around drearily. His eyes were cloudy with sleep and his hair was out of his braid. That day Havoc learned Ed had the worst bedhead in the history of any bedhead. Ed's golden locks were sticking up at awkward angles with knots and tangles scattered all over his head. His bangs hung in front of his eyes like golden curtains.

"Uh, nice bedhead, Chief." Havoc snickered. Ed blew his bangs out of his face and looked up at Havoc. He stared for a moment before he finally realized it was in fact Havoc waking him up.

"What?" The teenager snarled thickly, voice gruff from sleep. Havoc sighed. _Teenagers,_ he thought with a shake of his head.

"The mission? Remember? Colonel told you two days ago?" Havoc urged. Ed blinked in confusion. "The drug bust?"

"Oh." Ed muttered. He glared at the wall for a moment before flopping back onto his pillow and curling the blanket tighter around himself with a groan. "Yeah, wake me up when the sun is actually visible."

"No can do. Strict orders." Havoc smirked. Mustang had told him the best way to get Ed out of bed for a mission was to rip the blankets off and splash freezing water on his face. He also told him that the second he does, he should run for his life.

Havoc trotted down the hall to a bathroom and filled one of the paper cups with freezing water. He laughed quietly as he reentered his young boss's room. Reaching the bed, he gripped the blanket tightly with one hand and yanked back. The blanket slipped out of Ed's clutches and left him without any warmth. He began to sit up to demand his blanket back when Havoc splashed the water on his face. He squawked with indignation and sprang out of bed, flinging the water out of his eyes. The cold water dripped down his neck and beneath his shirt, causing him to shiver.

The lieutenant grinned triumphantly until he saw the look of pure rage directed at him. He yelped as Ed launched himself at him. Ed clung to him like a baby koala; legs around his waist and arms around his neck. Although most baby koala's probably don't attempt to strangle the one they cling to.

"HAVOC YOU BASTARD!" Ed roared. Havoc fell under Ed's weight and tried desperately to shake the alchemist off. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!?"

"I had to get you, ugh, up!" Havoc choked out. He finally managed to flip Ed off and onto his back. Havoc held him there, gulping up air. "Damn Chief. That was hard!"

He stood up, allowing Ed to do the same. The blond glared at him for a minute before shaking his hair like a dog, sending water flying everywhere.

"H-Hey! Chief, come on, really!?" Havoc exclaimed, holding his hands out to deflect the water.

"Yes." Ed growled. He stalked over to his dressed and snatched the brush off the table. Five minutes later, his hair was back into its neat braid. After quickly dressing himself and eating a snack, he followed Havoc out to his car.

They drove for about ten minutes before Ed finally started asking questions.

"Where the hell are we going?" Ed grumbled from the passenger's seat. Havoc glanced at him. The blond was moodily staring out the window with his chin resting on his hand.

"Train station." Havoc answered tersely. Ed slowly turned to look at him, annoyance written across his features.

"Is the house at the train station?" Ed sneered, clearly not satisfied with the lieutenant's answer. Havoc smirked and shot a look at Ed.

"Come on, Ed, I thought you were supposed to be a prodigy!" He exclaimed, throwing his hands up and off the steering wheel. Ed yelped in terror as the car began to swerve slightly.

"Havoc! Hands on the wheel, dammit!" Ed screamed, pointing to the wheel for emphasis. Havoc chuckled and feigned ignorance.

"What do you mean? Why would I do that?" He questioned, putting a hand to his chin in thought. Ed gestured wildly to the road, fear clearly shining in his eyes. Havoc laughed and took control of the car once more. "Relax, Chief. I wouldn't let this car crash."

"I don't like it when people do that after the last time." Ed shuddered. Havoc's brows furrowed in confusion. Ed seemed to be talking more to himself after that. "I will never get in a car with that bastard _ever again_."

"What do you mean? Are you talking about that time with Mustang?" Havoc snickered. Ed glared at him. Havoc took that as a yes and burst out laughing. As Ed had once furiously told them, Mustang had picked him up since he didn't want the young alchemist without protection while there was a mass murderer walking around and had gotten very distracted causing him to crash into a tree. The two soldiers were fine other than a broken arm on Ed's part and a wounded pride on Mustang's. Ed had never gotten into a car while the man drove since.

"How did he ever even get a license!?" Ed fumed. Havoc just continued to laugh.

When they pulled into the train station, Ed practically leapt out of the car while it was still moving. Havoc wasn't entirely surprised seeing as the boy jumped off moving trains on a regular basis. Havoc parked the car and followed the teenager to the train platform. He bought two tickets while Ed seemed to zone out while staring at the train tracks. Havoc considered this a good thing seeing as how if Ed knew where they would going he would probably have enemies there and attempt to get out of it. Their destination was Dublith in the south.

Once they boarded the train, Ed realized he didn't know where they were going _still._ Ed turned to Havoc, who was idly moving a cigarette around with his lips.

"So… Where are we going?" Ed asked again. Havoc jumped slightly, not expecting Ed to speak.

"Dublith." Havoc responded shortly, eyeing a woman walking down the aisle. Ed's breath caught in his throat and his eyes widened in terror. He sat frozen like that for a minute or two before Havoc finally caught sight of his still form. "What? What's wrong?"

"Did… Did you say… Dublith?" The last word came out as a quiet whimper. Havoc furrowed his brows in confusion. Was Ed _scared?_ The Fullmetal Alchemist was actually _scared_ of something in Dublith.

"Yes…? Why?" The lieutenant urged. The boy let out a shriek and started fussing with the window, trying to throw it open. Havoc lunged forward and threw Ed back to his seat with a growl. "What the hell are you doing,Chief!?"

"No! I can't go to Dublith! She'll see me! She'll kill me! I'M GONNA DIE! Havoc you gotta let me go! Oh god, she's gonna kill me! She's gonna kill me! I'm so dead!" Ed sputtered as he clawed at the window again. The elder soldier merely stared on in utter confusion.

The fight in Ed seemed to disappear as soon as came. He collapsed on the ground and moaned pathetically, curling up into a tight ball. At this point Havoc was unsure of whether to be amused or scared.

"Uh, Ed?" Havoc prodded. "You, uh, you alright?"

"I'm gonna die. She'll rip my other limbs off. She'll… she'll… ohhh!" Ed groaned, ignoring his comrade. It was at that moment that the rest of the team decided to make an appearance. Hawkeye was the calmest as always and dragged Ed back onto the seat while the men just stared on in confusion.

"Havoc, what's wrong with Fullmetal?" Mustang sighed, slipping into the seat beside his lieutenant.

"I told him we were going to Dublith and he started freaking out. Claims someone is gonna kill him and rip his limbs off. He started trying to get out the window."

"Fullmetal, why don't you wanna go to Dublith? Who's gonna kill you?" Mustang questioned. Said alchemist shot up and was immediately in Mustang's face "What the-!"

"Please tell me we aren't staying at the mansion on Main Street!?" Ed demanded.

"We are… Why?" The colonel questioned. Ed collapsed again and fell silent. "Who's gonna kill you, Fullmetal?"

"_Teacher._" He hissed, shuddering at the mere thought of the terrifying woman. "Her only rules and I broke them. 'Never become a State Alchemist'. She's gonna kill me!"

"I think you're overreacting." Fuery stated. Ed sat up and glared at the soldier.

"You've never met Teacher. She once left Al and I on a deserted island for a month with only a knife when we were just starting training with her." Ed growled. "She threw knives at us to test our reflexes. She nearly killed me for breaking a window."

"Oh. That is one scary lady." Havoc shuddered. A moment later he grinned evilly at Ed. "Well, I suppose we should plan your funeral then?"

Ed screamed and collapsed in his seat, his imagination running wild with what Teacher could possibly do to him. Havoc laughed at him while everyone else sweat-dropped. While Ed was slowly going insane, Mustang began to explain what they would do when they arrived.

"Fullmetal, Falman, and I will all go inside the mansion while you four will go to the outpost down the street. Havoc, don't you dare start complaining again." Mustang said, glaring at his subordinate who raised his hands in surrender. Ed had calmed down somewhat by then so he was, in fact, paying attention. For once. "Fullmetal, you have to keep your automail covered and you can't go running around in that red jacket; it's too obvious."

"I wasn't planning on it. Teacher gave me the original so she could see me if I went ahead of her somewhere." He shivered and immediately took off the red jacket, leaving his jacket on.

"Also, neither of us can use alchemy." The colonel stated. Ed shrugged, he had figured as much. "And try not to get into too many fights."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever Colonel Bastard." Ed waved him off and instead stared out the window. The soldiers all laughed at Mustang's expression. Ed's worst insult before then had been been just plain 'bastard'.

"Least he used your title." Breda chuckled. Mustang shook his head.

"This is gonna be a long mission." He muttered


	3. Close Encounter

**A/N: Sorry, this took forever to get up. (thats what he said ha ha sorry) Anyway, I have been busy as fuck for some odd reason. No I wasn't I was just sleeping too much. I don't even know honestly. The important thing is its up now, so YAY! Yeah... Ignore me...** **Responses:** **Brenne: That would be very angsty, Very, very angsty. But thank you! I'm so happy you like it!** **Brenne (again :D): I'm not sure if Izumi will actually find out about Ed being in the military, but there will be close calls!**

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"Fullmetal, come _on!_" Mustang growled as he attempted to drag the Fullmetal Alchemist off the train platform. Everyone had changed out of their uniforms in order to not be recognized later on. Havoc, Hawkeye and the others had taken their designated car and left already, leaving only Mustang, Falman and Ed. Falman was awaiting his two superiors in the second car down the street as Ed refused to move from the cover of the platform.

"NO! If I go, we'll walk right in front of the butcher's shop!" Ed hissed, digging his heels into the ground and yanking back as hard as he could.

"Dammit, Fullmetal! You're causing a scene!" Mustang growled as he noticed all the stares the two were receiving. "What the hell is so bad about the butcher's shop!?"

"It's where Teacher lives!" Ed snapped back. Mustang groaned angrily. '_Again with this 'teacher'! Was she really that scary!?' _Mustang thought to himself.

"I will carry you out of here if I have to and I _know_ you don't want that, so just cooperate!" The colonel snarled. He suddenly released his hold on Ed, causing him to go flying backwards and land on his back. The air was knocked out of him when he slammed against the ground. Struggling for air, he sat up and glared at his superior officer. Mustang smirked and said, "I'm serious, I will carry you if you don't come with me."

"Yeah, I'd like to see you try, bastard!" Ed grouched, standing and crossing his arms stubbornly. He closed his eyes and looked away angrily, clearly not expecting the colonel to actually listen to him, because the next thing he knew he was he was swept into a pair of arms, bridal style. The blond's eyes snapped open in shock as he took in the smirking face of the colonel and registered the fact that they were leaving the train platform and heading towards the butcher's shop.

"I didn't mean that! Lemme down!" Ed screeched, kicking and flailing his arms wildly. Mustang easily avoided all the waving limbs and continued down the street with the enraged alchemist in his arms. "Dammit, Mustang, I'm serious! Put me down!"

"Sorry, kid, but if I do, you'll just run off somewhere." Mustang said, the smirk still on his face. Suddenly, his smirk turned evil as he looked down at the teen in his arms. "Oh, look! There's a woman outside the butcher's shop! What a coincidence!"

Ed's eyes widened to the size of saucers as he snapped his head around to look at the butcher's shop. Sure enough, there stood a woman with black dreadlocks and a blue tattoo on her collar bone. The small blond gave a yelp of terror and began to struggle with newfound vigor.

Finally, when they were only about ten feet away from the butcher's shop, Ed gave another frightened gasp before burying his head into the colonel's chest in a weak attempt to hide from his teacher. Mustang glanced down at him in surprise. '_Just how scary is this lady to make Fullmetal resort to this?'_ Mustang thought. Since he was looking at Ed in his arms, he wasn't watching where he was going and accidentally bumped into someone.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going!" Mustang apologized, grinning sheepishly at the person. Said person just happened to be Ed's teacher.

"It's quite alright." Ed's teacher replied. Ed tensed and tightened his grip on Mustang's jacket when he heard the voice. "Are you new in town? I haven't seen you around."

"Yes, I just moved in down the street. I'm Roy Smith and this is my son, Edward." Mustang introduced. Ed's teacher cocked her head to the side.

"I'm Izumi Curtis…" She said quietly, staring intently at Ed. She looked up at Mustang, worry shining in her eyes. "Is he alright?"

"Just train sick is all. He'll be okay in a while." The colonel chuckled as he felt Ed tense up again. "Well, it's been nice to meet you, but I should be on my way. Lots of unpacking to do! Goodbye Ms. Curtis!"

Mustang swiftly walked past Izumi as he could tell Ed would probably freak out if he was around her any longer. He still didn't understand what was so scary about her, she seemed like a very nice woman. Ed didn't move from his position until Mustang threw him into the car where he immediately pressed himself against the door and pulled his knees to his chest while shivering violently. The Flame Alchemist chose not to question it for now.

"What the hell was that about?" Falman questioned as Mustang climbed into the passenger's seat. "Ed looked like he was clinging to you for dear life."

"He probably thought he was." Mustang shrugged, glancing back at said alchemist who was still intensely shaking. "We ran into his teacher. I don't see what is so scary about her, Izumi is a nice woman from what I can tell."

"That still doesn't explain why you were carrying him." Falman pointed out. Mustang chuckled.

"That was because he refused to leave the platform. So I threatened to carry him and he said, 'I'd like to see you try'. So I did." Mustang explained, leaning back in his seat with a smirk.

"YOU BASTARD!" Ed suddenly exploded from the back seat. Mustang sighed and looked back at his fuming subordinate. "I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT! I COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED, DAMMIT!"

"But you're still alive." Mustang pointed out as Falman began to drive. Ed yelled in anger and slammed his head against the window in a fit of rage.

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A few hours later, everything was set up as planned. Hawkeye, Havoc and Breda were keeping eyes on the house, Fuery was manning communications, Falman was dressed like a butler (much to his discomfort), Mustang was trying to get drugs from the gang they were after so they would begin trusting them, and Ed was probably in a fight somewhere. For once, Ed was doing what he was supposed to, in a way. Since he was supposed to be the 'rebellious son', getting in a bunch of fights would probably help that image. On the other hand, he still screamed and ran in terror if he saw someone he knew.

"Hey, you little punk! Who the hell do you think you are!?" A man fumed after Ed had punched him so a young woman could escape his advances. As soon as the man said the word 'little', Ed exploded.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLIN A TINY LITTLE PIPSQUEAK?!" Ed roared as he slammed his foot into the man's face. Said man yelped and scuttled backwards while cupping his nose in his hand.

"I didn't say all that! I'm sorry!" Just as Ed was about to beat the man up some more, someone interfered much to Ed's annoyance and the man's delight.

"Ed! Leave the man alone!" A voice called. Ed's fist froze an inch from the man's face as he turned slightly to look at the source of the voice. "Let's go!"

"Dammit." Ed sighed as he lowered his fist. He glared down at the man in his grasp and hissed, "If I see you doin' anything else stupid, you'll be sorry."

"Y-Yes! Of course! I won't do anything ever again!" The man choked out, raising his hands in surrender. Ed violently threw him to the ground then spun on his heel and stalked off.

"What the hell, Mustang!? That asshole deserved it!" Ed hissed when he joined him.

"You have to be at least slightly subtle, Fullmetal." Mustang sighed as he made his way back to the mansion.

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**Sorry for the shitty ending. I have writer's block I apologize.**


	4. Monster of a Man

**A/N: I don't think I'm entirely happy with this chapter. I did the best I could and my parents think I'm crazy for looking up really weird things, so I hope you guys like it. If you do, drop a review! It really motivates me to get shit done! Unless its just , 'Update soon'. Then it's like, ''k. Um. No inspiration is coming from that.'. Anyway, yeah. If you like it review and favorite and follow and all that stuff. Thanks!**

**Responses:**

**PJOloverforeva74****: You are very welcome! And thank ****_YOU _****for reading and reviewing! **

**Brenne &amp; FullmetalTitans: Oh, I have evil plans for Ed and Izumi. *rubs hands together evilly* Yes it will be fantastic and very painful for Ed. Thanks for the support!**

**charlie7694: Thanks!**

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Edward Elric prided himself on the fact that he could break any and every rule, for rules were really only challenges in his mind. Whether it be a simple rule like 'please do not tap the glass' or a very important rule such as 'no human transmutation' the Fullmetal Alchemist found a way to break it. Edward Elric considered himself to be the greatest rule breaker that Amestris had ever seen. Since he had this self-proclaimed title, he figured that people really shouldn't be surprised when he inevitably breaks any rule that is set.

Roy Mustang, on the other hand, _could not_ understand why his subordinate couldn't just follow the damn rules. It was simple; 'get into fights if you want but be slightly subtle'. He only wanted _slightly!_ But somehow one Edward Elric managed to completely ignore anything he was told that even resembled a rule. Hence, the reason the two soldiers were arguing… Again.

"How does that bear any resemblance to any subtlety at all!?" The colonel just about shrieked. Normally if one of his subordinates were to come shuffling back bruised and bloodied, he'd have been worried. Not with Fullmetal though. He knew if Fullmetal looked bad, whoever did it looked even worse. The obnoxious brat's response was a shrug. "I told you to not attract attention to yourself, Fullmetal! Do you even know _how_ to not make a scene!?"

"'Course I know _how_ to, I just _choose_ not to!" The blond barked back as he made his way to the kitchen to get something to staunch the flow of blood coming from his forehead. Mustang glowered and followed Ed. He watched with a scowl and crossed arms as Ed clumsily grabbed a damp towel and pressed it against his head. He closed his eyes and let out a relieved sigh as the pain subsided slightly. He then spat sarcastically, "Thanks for the concern, by the way, bastard!"

"What happened?" Mustang finally asked. Without opening his eyes, Ed scoffed.

"So _now_ you wanna know?" Ed asked quietly, tilting his head back slightly and leaning against the counter. He breathed a laugh and opened one eye to look at Mustang. "Some ass jumped me. I didn't cause it this time, so you yelled at me for nothing."

"Who the hell jumps a thirteen year old?" Mustang muttered as he stepped forward to make sure Ed was actually okay and not about to pass out from blood loss. He reached a hand out to move the blonde's hand, but Ed jumped away.

"What're you tryna do, Sparky!?" Ed snarled, although the viciousness was ruined when he tripped over his own feet and landed on his back with an 'oof!'. Mustang merely smirked and hauled the teen back to his feet.

"I'm trying to make sure you don't need stitches, so let me see." Mustang explained, once again reaching to take the cloth from Ed's forehead. Ed glared but allowed the colonel to inspect the cut. "Oh hell, Fullmetal. What caused this?"

"Dunno, rock? I wasn't really paying attention to what was being pelted at me." Ed grouched. He hissed and jerked away when Mustang lightly touched the gash. "Well don't _touch_ it! Thought you were supposed to know this stuff…"

"I _do_ know this stuff. Sorry for trying to help you." Mustang shot back sarcastically. He lightly whacked the blond upside the head. Ed made a noise of annoyance and glared at Mustang but did nothing further.

After a few minutes of standing around and patching himself, Ed was ready to leave again. One agonizingly boring lecture from Mustang later he was running out the door. He wove expertly through alleys and back roads, desperately trying to avoid anyone he knew who may alert Izumi of his presence. About twenty minutes from the mansion, he heard someone call out to him.

"Hey," The voice called from an alley Ed ran past. Ed skidded to a halt and suspiciously stepped back to peer into the shadowed space. "You runnin' away from somethin'?"

"If I was, do you think I would've stopped for some creepy guy in an alley?" Ed deadpanned. The man rasped out a laugh and emerged into the sunlight. His dark red hair was slicked back neatly into a ponytail. A wicked smirk played across his lips as he advanced upon the undercover State Alchemist.

"How old are you kid?" The man asked with an air of nonchalance. Ed hesitated. He thought of lying to the man and saying he was fourteen or fifteen, but decided against it. People were already surprised that he was thirteen and not eleven as his size would dictate. But he wasn't short, dammit! If anyone thought otherwise he'd rip them apart!

"Thirteen." Ed answered blankly. The man in front of him didn't seem to be the trustworthy and helpful kind. Every muscle in his body tensed as the man gave a sneer and turned back to the alley.

The State Alchemist could hear his heartbeat as he anxiously awaited the man's next move. If he left now, the guy may follow him and catch him by surprise. But if he stayed, he could just be looking for trouble. Against his better judgement, he decided to wait to see what this creep would do. He could barely hear the terrified squeaks and whimpers coming from the alley over his own blood rushing through his veins.

"I trust you kid," The man's voice rang out. There was a harsh grunt followed by a snap. A pained shriek echoed through the small space. Ed strained to catch any sound of movement. He knew he was going to save someone just as soon as he figured out what the situation was. The man's raspy laugh sounded again. "So I'm gonna let you walk away unharmed. But do me a favor and don't mention this, yeah?"

As soon as the man finished his sentence, he stepped out into the light again dragging something behind him. Or _someone_. A girl, no older than sixteen, was being violently hauled away by her long filthy hair. A gag had been shoved in her bloody and bruised mouth. She was wearing nothing but a torn nightgown. Dirt and blood caked her entire body and clothing. As she became more visible in the light, Ed noticed that she was cradling her arm to her chest. It was bent in the opposite direction it was meant to. White bone was visible where her arm was broken as it had gone right through the skin and muscle. Her ankles were tied so tightly together that he toes were turning a sickly shade of purple from lack of circulation.

"She's a beauty, ain't she?" The man sighed wistfully as he continued to drag the weeping girl past Ed. Golden eyes narrowed as the boy snarled angrily. How dare he!? Casually committing an act so terrible! The man began to turn to see him, but he received a foot to the face first. He lost his grip on the girl and slammed down onto the hard pavement. He cupped his bruised cheek and looked up at Ed with a nasty glare. "I wasn't gonna hurt ya, but you leave me no choice! Who the hell are you anyway!?"

The man- no, the _monster,_ got to his feet and charged at Ed, fist raised and ready to slam down onto his face. Ed ducked below the flying fist. Unleashing his pent up anger, he slammed his automail palm into the man's jaw, sending him reeling backwards. The man howled in rage as he cracked his head against the stone wall of the building behind him. The young soldier glanced over to the girl to make sure she was okay and visibly paled when he saw her curled in a ball and shaking on the ground. Shaking his head, Ed attempted to refocus on the fight. He looked back to where the man had been only to find empty space. A heavy blow landed on his side. Ed stumbled to the side and caught his foot on something. He crashed to the ground. The man laughed cruelly and pulled out a knife.

'_Oh come on, seriously!?'_ Ed thought in outrage as the now knife wielding guy brought his hand down. Momentarily forgetting his mission in favor of his life, he clapped his hands and slid his flesh hand up his automail. Blue light crackled around it as a blade formed out of the metal. This happened in the span of a second or two and he immediately slashed the man's arm open. He let out a scream and dropped the knife. He clutched his injured arm to his chest and glared at Ed.

"Automail? No transmutation circle? Thirteen!? You must be Edward Elric!" The guy exclaimed angrily. Ed sneered and kicked the man away. He stumbled back but regained his balance rather quickly. Immediately, he sprinted away.

"Yeah, you better run asshole!" Ed called after him as he climbed to his feet. He returned his arm to normal and glared after the man.

Ed snarled angrily but realized he had a bigger problem on his hands than the escaped man. He snapped his gaze to the girl who had not moved from her position since the man released his hold on her. Ed sprinted the few steps to her and skidded on his knees to her side.

"Uh, miss? Miss, are you okay?" Ed desperately asked. Realizing the idiocy of the question he quickly added in his panic, "Of course you aren't, what am I saying. Uh, c-can you walk do you think?"

He clapped his hands and placed them on the strip of rope binding her ankles together causing it to fall apart and flutter uselessly onto the ground in little threads. He did the same for the gag and then backed away, unsure of what to do. His shaking hands hovered over the shivering figure with uncertainty. He wasn't strong enough to carry a sixteen year old girl, but she seemed too injured to walk! He gritted his teeth in frustration and did what he could. He risked taking off his black jacket and revealing his automail to transmute it into a decent pile of bandages. Although he had been taught a bit of first aid, he never really put it to use as he was never injured enough to actually need to. He had forgotten most of what he had been taught. He knew he should have kept in practice with it!

Gently, he rolled the girl onto her back. She let out a pained whine but didn't react in any other way. Her eyes were clouded over with exhaustion and pain. Ed bit his lip nervously and grabbed at one of the bandages.

"Okay, I'm gonna try and patch you up a bit, alright? I'll try to be as gentle as I can." Ed explained quietly. He hated how his voice was shaking. He didn't want to scare her any more than she already was.

After about twenty minutes, he sat back on his heels with sweat dripping down his face. He had done everything he could but she didn't seem any better. He had tried talking to her on multiple occasions, but she was unresponsive. Ed had felt or seen at least four bones that were broken. Ultimately, he had absolutely no idea what to do and it was getting very late. All he needed was for the girl to get hypothermia from the cold night. Something sharp prodded his side. He glanced down. It was the walkie-talkie.

He almost jumped with joy. He had forgotten he had the damn thing so he could contact Fuery in case of an emergency and if this wasn't an emergency, he didn't know what was! With shaking hands, he yanked the device from his belt and jammed the button down.

"Hello, Fuery?!" Ed said into the walkie-talkie. When he didn't get an immediate response he feared that he had broken it somehow.

"Edward? What's wrong?" Fuery's staticy reply sounded. Ed almost collapsed with relief.

"Something happened. A girl is hurt, bad. I can't get her back by myself. Sh-she isn't answering me and she can't walk. Um, I'm on Buckley St. I think. In one of the alleys." Ed choked out, gripping the walkie-talkie tightly. He held his breath as he waited for a response.

"Okay," Fuery replied. "Havoc and Hawkeye will be there ASAP."

Ed let the walkie-talkie slip from his grip and clatter to the pavement below as he fell to his knees with a sigh of relief. He gave the girl another glance and gulped. He wasn't out of the woods yet. This girl was still in terrible condition. Cautiously, he crawled over to the broken girl and watched to make sure she was still breathing. Thankfully she was, albeit rather raggedly.

"Don't worry, miss. Help is on the way." Ed reassured her. No response. He sighed and sat back on his heels. His next words were so soft it was as if he were speaking to himself. "Please be okay."

Finally, Havoc and Hawkeye pulled up. Ed was numb with relief. He sat against a wall completely limp. Havoc was the first to reach the scene. He muttered a few curses under his breath and bent down to scoop the girl into his arms. She let out a pained scream and kicked a bit but she didn't have enough energy to put up a fight. She fell silent in Havoc's arms. He exchanged a few words with Hawkeye as she came into the alley.

"Edward, what happened? Are you okay?" She asked gently as she crouched in front of the blond boy. He nodded and sat up more.

"I was just walking through here when some creep called out. I went back to see what he wanted and he asked a few questions like my age and stuff then went back into the alley. When he came back out he was dragging that girl behind him and she was tied up and gagged and stuff. She looked awful so I kinda freaked out and attacked the guy. After I punched him and he was dazed for a second I looked over to the girl and she was shaking and crying and stuff but when I looked back to the guy he was gone. So he got one blow in on me and then pulled a frickin' _knife_ outta nowhere so I kinda forgot about the mission and I transmuted my arm and sliced him up a little. Then he figured out who I was and ran off before I could stop him!" Ed rambled. Hawkeye nodded along, listening intently. "But I'm fine. I'm just worried about the girl. Do you think she'll be okay?"

"I didn't get a good enough look at her, but you did a good job doing what you could." The lieutenant reassured him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Her eyes suddenly hardened. "What did the man look like?"

"Uh, he had red hair pulled back in a ponytail and he was wearing a kinda fancy suit type thing." Ed recounted, struggling to remember the man's features. He wasn't really paying attention to what he looked like, he was paying attention to kicking his sorry ass.

"Did he have a tattoo on his neck, do you remember? It would've looked something like two wings with devil horns hanging above it?" Hawkeye asked seriously.

"I, uh, I think so. Yeah he did. Why?" He asked cautiously as he saw the woman's features darken.

"Because that means we have a much bigger problem on our hands."

* * *

**DUN DUN DUUUUUN! Cliffhangers are great. Except when it's not me writing them. Then I hate 'em! Ah, oh well. Least it's something, yeah?**


	5. Flurry of Curses and Insults

**A/N: I AM SO SORRY I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON! I was planning on writing this for a long ass time but then I screwed something up and I lost interest for a while. I am so sorry. Please don't hate me ;^;**

**Responses: **

**Brenne: Roy is very unamused. Seriously though, Roy would be a terrible parent.**

**Legendarily Quiet: The girl is just to keep the plot going! I was trying to find something for her to do, but I gave up because I'm a lazy bastard. Parental!Royed forever!**

**Again, I'm really sorry.**

* * *

Edward was absolutely screwed. He knew it from the moment Hawkeye described the tattoo on the man's neck in perfect detail. Apparently that tattoo was the gang sign for the drug operation they were trying to bust. Just his luck, they now knew who he was. He could only hope he never saw that man again.

"Why didn't you just kick him away or something?" Mustang questioned, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. "You didn't have to expose yourself!"

"It was instinct! I was thinking about saving my ass, not the damn mission!" Ed snapped back. They had just returned from bringing the girl to the hospital. They had been called into the room by the girl, who was named Mika Haller, who thanked Edward profusely and explained to Mustang what had happened to her (after he had told her who he really was). On the car ride back, in which Mustang was driving, Ed demanded that he didn't speak for fear that Mustang would again crash into a tree.

"Well, y'know what? You might've just screwed over the entire mission!" Mustang barked, throwing his hands out to the side. "And I already bought a whole bunch of drugs so they'll trust us! If we don't get this mission done I just lost the military a couple thousand dollars!"

"That's not my fault that you plan was stupid and had no room for error!" Ed retorted, turning up his nose at him.

"That's it Fullmetal! Since I am your 'father' and more importantly your superior officer, you're grounded! You have to stay on main roads for a week unless we leave before then!" Mustang exploded. Ed let out a cry of outrage and gaped at the elder alchemist.

"But she'll kill me! You know that!" Ed yelled. Mustang glared at him. Ed, knowing that if he had to stay on main roads Izumi would find him, grabbed the front of the colonel's shirt and stood on his toes to be face to face. "You better damn well not make me, bastard! She'll kill me! She'll- she'll throw knives and- and punch me and kick me and strangle me and-"

"Fullmetal, your teacher won't kill you. Izumi is a nice woman, I don't understand how you are so scared of her." Mustang sighed, rubbing his forehead. Ed shook his head rapidly, needing him to understand.

"No, no, no! That's only how she is with other people! If she's fighting someone or training, she's a demon! Come on! Don't make me go out in the open?!" Ed practically begged.

"No matter how much you beg, I'm not letting you off the hook. That's your punishment, and that's final." Mustang stated, turning to walk away. Ed muttered something about not begging but gave up his argument. He knew he couldn't just disobey Mustang. He had the rest of the team watching him at all times. If he went off the main roads, they'd tell Mustang and he'd be confined to the house, most likely.

Ed was screwed.

* * *

Ed refused to leave the house. If he had to walk on the main roads for a week, he was sure to be caught by Izumi or someone else he used to know. So, instead of risking his life, he was just going to sit in the giant house until he could go back to the alleys.

Mustang, of course, was not happy. His punishment was useless if Ed didn't even have to suffer! So he did what any responsible adult would and forced him to clean the entire house. The hissy fit that followed was the largest one to date.

"I'm not your fucking maid! Just get one of your hundreds of girlfriends to do it! They'd probably love to!" Ed screamed. Mustang was reminded of an angry cat. He would have to be careful or else Ed would probably explode the house. Attempting to prove his point, Ed took on a high pitched voice and clasped his hands in front of his heart, trying to act like one of Mustang's 'many girlfriends' (that he did not have, thank you very much), "_Oh Roy, anything for you! Of course I'll clean this entire goddamn mansion!"_

"Ed, either do it or-"

"Or what?! What else could you do, huh!? Lay it on me, Colonel Bastard!" Ed snarled, stepping closer to Mustang angrily. Mustang sighed and rubbed his forehead irritably. No one had told him a thirteen year old would be so hard to handle. He could handle blood-thirsty psychopaths, but throw him a teenager and he was clueless! This was ridiculous! "Go on, what'll you do!?"

"I will bring Izumi here and explain everything you've done." Mustang deadpanned. Ed blinked. He blinked again. Then he exploded in a flurry of insults and curses.

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT YOU FUCKING PYRO! ISN'T THAT GODDAMN ILLEGAL OR SOMETHING!? YOU WOULDN'T DARE TELL HER! DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT?! YOU DON'T KNOW HER, BASTARD! SHE. WILL. MURDER. ME. DON'T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT TELLING HER!"

"Then do what I tell you or else you're gonna be killed." Mustang shrugged. Ed's jaw dropped. Mustang smirked proudly. He loved freaking this kid out.

"But- you- you can't do that!" Ed choked out, pointing at him accusingly. Mustang simply grinned and shrugged nonchalantly. Ed howled with rage and pulled at his hair. "You goddamn _asshole!_"

"Eh, I've been called that before." Mustang casually remarked. Now, normally, Mustang could tell exactly how much he could push Fullmetal before he attempted to strangle him, but with the Izumi situation, He seemed to be able to get away with a lot more. He was actually very surprised that Ed hadn't lunged at him yet.

"I am not cleaning this house." Ed ground out between clenched teeth. He was very clearly holding back from kicking his teeth in.

"Well, I guess I'll just go get Izumi-" Mustang sighed, turning away from the raging boy. Ed snarled and tackled Mustang to the ground, purposefully slamming his automail into the elder's ribs. Mustang gave a strangled yelp (it was very manly, of course) and opened his eyes to see almost glowing golden eyes above him.

"_Don't you dare tell Izumi."_ Ed hissed. Mustang usually just laughed at Ed's antics but, hell, this was actually a bit frightening. He was pinned down by Ed's automail across his neck, nearly choking him.

"Get offa me, you brat!" Mustang snapped, flipping Ed onto his back and sitting up. He had to admit, in a few years, Ed would probably be able to beat him in a fight. Mustang shivered. That was a terrible thought. Mustang took a deep breath and yelled as loud as he could, "GO CLEAN THE GODDAMN HOUSE, NOW!"

"Alright, jeez. Just don't tell Izumi," Ed grumbled as he got to his feet and trudged away. Mustang was very proud of himself for handling the situation.

"You know, you could have just threatened to scorch him. I think that would have worked too." A woman's voice muttered from behind Mustang. Mustang face dropped as he slowly turned his head to look at the source of the voice. Of course Riza had chosen _now_ to come and give her report. She sighed and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "But, I suppose that works too."

* * *

**IT'S REALLY SHORT AND HAS A SHITTY ENDING I'M SORRYYYY**


End file.
